Saturday, March 11, 2017

Nature and Nudes

The environmental nude.
It's like the photographer can't decide whether to shoot a landscape or a nude.
Most of the time, they end up fucking both up at the same time... In my opinion...

Wednesday, November 9, 2016


What happened last night was a great thing.

The lights were finally turned on and we saw all the roaches scatter.

Turns out the American kitchen was dirty as fuck and no one came by to clean it up.
It was neglected and covered up with thick veil of social media and reality TV. People were just too lazy to lift the fucking veil and look underneath every once in a while.

Some of us thought that just because we had a black president we had moved into the 21st century.
Turns out joke is on us.

So after you're done crying and bitching and moaning because your candidate lost fair and square, pull up you big boy pants, put on your gloves, and grow a fucking pair.

It's time to exterminate.

Monday, October 17, 2016

On being a writer:

"All good books are alike in that they are truer than if they had really happened and after you are finished reading one you will feel that all that happened to you and afterwards it all belongs to you; the good and the bad, the ecstasy, the remorse, and sorrow, the people and the places and how the weather was. If you can get so that you can give that to people, then you are a writer."
-Ernest Hemingway

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

complex algorithm

when making financial decisions I use this complex algorithm:

how much I needed it
how much I want it
how much is that in beers
how much is that in film
how much is that in tacos
how long until next pay day

once calculated, a purchase is either made, rejected or postponed

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Photography is Just like Cooking a Steak

One starts off loving steak and goes to all the restaurants and tastes all the great steaks around town.
One day, the steak lover decides to start cooking his own steak at home and tries to obtain that steakhouse magic.
Slowly the steak lover starts to sharpen his skills and soon becomes really good at cooking steaks specializing in butter pan seared right on the stove top.

Friends begin to appreciate and soon start to love the way the steak lover cooks steaks.
He’s got it all down.
Medium rare.
Bloody as hell.
And for those that love it, burnt to a crisp.
He knows where to get the best meat and knows how to marinate it just right. Perfection.

Friends start to bring their own raw steaks to the party just for the taste of the magic. It’s their way of trying not to take advantage of the steak lover by having him buy all the steaks but also because they don’t really want to pay the higher price of the really good meat the steak lover knows to obtain.

Whatever. The steak lover still cooks the shit out of some mediocre meat. The best his friends have ever had.

One day, a friend invites the steak lover to a party and asks that he cook all the steaks. The steak lover is actually thrilled to be asked and agrees without hesitation not asking for any compensation other that beer.

At the party, someone loves the eats and asks the steak lover to cook at her next party.

Soon word of mouth spreads and the steak lover starts booking up every weekend during the summer months in advanced. However, something peculiar starts to happen.

People do not want to pay full price for the steaks. People don’t want the USDA top shelf steaks because “it’s too expensive.”
People start comparing you to their friend who cooks steaks for free but hasn’t specialized in anything and no one seems to know who the fuck he is.
People start asking that the steak lover not cook all the steak and leave a bunch of raw meat in the fridge so they can try and recreate the magic on their own.
People start asking to change the marinade or even use the one they came up with.
People start thinking that they can cook as good as steak because they just bought the $2,000 gas combo grill at Costco.

The steak lover doesn’t get asked to cook as much anymore because cousin Beto from the west side just bought himself a grill and does the cooking for a lot less using lower quality meat and off the shelf marinade.

Fine. Good for all the cousin Betos out there.

The steak lover decides to not lower his standards even though it will cost him. He will not have people take advantage of him.

The steak lover has to look and cater to people who know and appreciate what an amazingly cooked butter pan seared rib eye tastes like but there aren’t as many catering jobs as before.

The steak lover does not want to work at a steak house where he will have no say in how the steak is cooked. He does not want to be just another cook working a 9 to 5 making a mockery of what he so loves to do. He will just wait it out at his own 9 to 5 and go back to what he loves and cook for himself, his family and friends and still getting the occasional commission for his steak magic.

Getting commissions for cooking steaks just isn’t what it used to be but the steak lover is fine with that.

The steak lover knows the reason he got so good at cooking steaks was because he started off cooking for himself.

Thank you for reading.
Enjoy your youth.

Thursday, January 21, 2016